Insane
Directed by Massimiliano Cerchi
Starring: Greg Chandler Maness, Vincent Rivera, Terry G. Reed, Marcella Rodriguez and Anthony Werley
SGL Entertainment
October, 2016
Reviewed by Jess Landry
No one likes clowns. This is a fact. And if you do, you’re lying to yourself. So a found footage-style flick about crazy clowns should be the scariest movie ever made, right? …Right?
Uh, no.
Insane is Paranormal Activity with clowns, but minus any of the tension (or logic, as far as that goes in a horror flick) that made the latter enjoyable and hella successful.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: a couple moves into a house and the boyfriend insists on filming everything (although nothing weird has happened just yet). Before anything spooky goes down, the new homeowners learn that the two previous tenants went off the deep end, and some people got all murdered in the house and whatnot. Still filming every little detail, the boyfriend films himself and his lady sleeping through the night, and then instead of capturing ghosts slamming doors and leaving footprints in powder, he instead films some clowns watching over them.
The plot aside, nothing else really works to make this film watchable. The actors sound like they’re reading dialogue straight off the paper – even in moments of light banter, it’s like watching cardboard cutouts having a conversation. It doesn’t help that the dialogue itself doesn’t ring true of how human beings interact – at one point, the boyfriend is reviewing the footage from the previous night when he discovers that a clown sat on their bed and watched them sleep. He speaks to himself, in disbelief that such a creepy thing showed up on camera (“What the fuck is going on?”…my sentiments exactly.), then his girlfriend walks in and wants to see the footage. He tries to dissuade her, but she insists. When he cues up the video, her response is: “Oh, nice. Nothing there.”
If you’re looking to overcome your coulrophobia, Insane may be able to help. There is nothing scary or likeable about this movie. So please, for the love of everything holy, don’t send in the clowns.
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