The sadomasochistic Cenobite with the pierced cranium returns in Deader, the newest direct-to-video addition to the Hellraiser franchise …sort of.

Deader tells the story of Amy Klein (Kari Wuhrer), a “hard-boiled journalist on the edge”, who seems pointlessly dedicated to getting the most dangerous and depraved stories possible…even if it means risking her life! Dun-Dun-DUN! And risk her life she does as she is asked to do a story on a cult whose members voluntarily commit suicide, only to be brought back to life minutes later by the cult’s leader. The deeper she gets into her journalistic investigation, the deeper the movie treads in “mindfuck” territory, reminiscent of Takashi Miike’s Audition or a David Lynch film…minus the excitement or any effective feelings that one would receive when watching any of the aforementioned films. The plot drags on, with the viewer not completely comprehending what is truly happening in Klein’s life and what isn’t, as she is grabbed with the trademark Hellraiser hooks by her face flesh, unnoticeably stabbed in the back without feeling any bit of pain, and awoken in a bathtub without a clue as to how the hell she got there. All of it seems as if it is going to build up into a huge twist, or at least something memorable or slightly worthwhile to watch at the end, but all we are treated to is a bad imitation of Frank’s demise at the end of the first Hellraiser. Throw in a couple completely unfunny attempts at humorous dialogue and some really bad CGI cockroaches and chains, and you have a film worthy of getting tossed into the “Boring, Pointless Crap” bin.

How Hellraiser is part of this film at all, I’m still not even too sure of. There’s the aspect that Klein finds the infamous “box”, and the appearance of Pinhead and a few of his associates towards the end, but really, that’s about it. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if Deader started out as not being a Hellraiser film at all—I’m almost certain that someone tagged the title on and added in the Lament Configuration and the Cenobites into a few scenes just to attract more attention from horror fans.

Deader seems like a film that no one really wanted to make, but were forced to as a result of contract obligations. None of the actors stick out as being particularly spectacular, or even a little good—even Doug Bradley, the man who has and most likely always will play Pinhead in every single Hellraiser film, seems to carry out his lines with all the enthusiasm of a Michael Meyers fan while watching Halloween III: Season of the Witch. Where once Bradley’s demonic voice was considered the personification of evil, it has been proven through Deader that his vocal chords and pronunciation are now about as maniacal as a Smurf.

I’m one of the few fans who actually enjoyed some of the newer direct-to-video Hellraiser sequels (Bloodline immediately comes to mind). Sure, they haven’t been on par with Clive Barker’s original masterpiece, but I doubt anyone expected that from any of the obviously Barker-less sequels, anyway. I considered the Hellraiser sequels as outlets for cool, creative gore, flesh-tearing, and portrayals of pain, but there’s none of that to be found in Deader. There is, for the record, a fair amount of blood in the film, but none of the scenes, with the exception of the bathroom knife-in-the-back realization, prove to be memorable or effective—certainly not worth any horror fan’s attention. There is even one scene in which Klein must maneuver her way around an upright corpse to obtain a folder of information that started off eerie, but is dragged out too long and the “jump scare” finale of the scene ultimately becomes very predictable.

As a huge supporter of many underrated direct-to-video gems, I’d like to say something positive about the film, but in all honesty, the only thing I can say is that if Deader is any indication, this franchise seems to have plummeted nearly as far as Wes Craven’s filmography quality.

-Spooky Steve